The Female Gaze

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our

pleasant

black

faces

are pressed together

under a veil

of chalky peach

 that drapes over your sleeping spine

and my

shivering shoulders

to protect us

from open air

and honesty—

Every day we dress

like dolls

with cherry cheeks

and nodding heads

because you are a daisy

and I am a tulip

and we

live only

to be

seen

“The Female Gaze” by Angie Hoover-Hillhouse

Artwork: Spectrum by Lucille Malkia Roberts

Almost through

 

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unraveled hours

languidly dwindle and dim with the lengthening of the day

twilight loses its luster

dusk impatient

departs before dawn

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yet in hours ignored

dark swells in innocent admiration

still enchanted by far off forms ablaze

the scent of summer slumber whispers in the wind

so when days are done

the old enduring earth

attempts again to become something new

“Almost New” by Meaghan Merrifield

The Way She Painted Me

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This is the way she painted me

with

sloppy brushstrokes

of indigo

and cloudy-white.

—- messy holes

that spread

and leak

into

marbled splatters of nose and eyelid. 

It looks nothing like me

but

when I touch her,

I can feel it

sweating into the pores behind my eyelashes–

staining my sight

like the horror of a bloody

ghost.

“The Way She Painted Me” by Angie Hoover-Hillhouse

Artwork: No Sudden Movement by Nina Schroeder

Loaded Quotes: Bloody Ambition

She danced, and was obliged to go on dancing through the dark night. The shoes bore her away over thorns and stumps till she was all torn and bleeding; she danced away over the heath to a lonely little house. Here, she knew, lived the executioner; and she tapped with her finger at the window and said:

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‘Come out, come out! I cannot come in, for I must dance.’

 And the executioner said: ‘I don’t suppose you know who I am. I strike off the heads of the wicked, and I notice that my axe is tingling to do so. “Don’t cut off my head!’ said Karen, ‘for then I could not repent of my sin. But cut off my feet with the red shoes.’

Excerpt from  ” The Red Shoes” by  Hans Christian Anderson

—————————————————————————

An enchanting woman whose feet have been hacked to bloody stumps is an image of humanity that comforts me.

Let me explain. 

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We are all complex mixtures  of beauty and horror, pain and delight, greed and charity. But there is such a cry for dichotomies in western culture, that we tend to ignore this.  It’s simple!! Pretty is pretty, and Yucky is yucky, now let’s all get ice cream sandwiches!!

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But there is no pretending when it comes to Karen.   The crude image of her perfect body sitting atop bloody mutilated legs makes her brokenness impossible to hide. And isn’t that sort of honesty liberating? Sometimes, I feel like my body is a lie I tell to anyone who is capable of seeing me. It is young, functional, it has no apparent deformities, and it conceals my self-loathing. It’s nice sometimes because I never truly feel vulnerable, but it breeds a lot insecurity. If no one sees me for what I am, how can I ever truly feel accepted?

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I think that a lot of people will say that this story is about how vanity can ruin you and blablabl..  more oppressive ideas about female sexuality professed by the catholic church… but I have always seen it as a tale about facing the good, the bad, and the bloody within yourself.

The truth isn’t simple; It is a young girl who looks gorgeous from the waste up, but is forced to hobble around on the ghosts of her own feet.

Angie